My Birthday Greetings to You

I am turning 26 in a couple of days. There are moments when I wish I could capture time and wind it back to somewhat lengthen this aging process. When I was younger, I used to think that time passed by ever so slowly and I kept counting the months and days before my birthday came (usually a sleepless night on the eve of my birthday). I don't know. There was, and still is something about my birthday that makes me happy. I know majority would say that its "just another day", but for me, I've always felt differently. It's always been- my birthday is a happy day and will always be a happy day for me.

This year as yet another birthday approaches, I am filled with so much gratitude and peace deep down. I am thankful and humbled by all the many blessings that fills my life each day. From my not so perfect and normal family that I would not ever trade for anything, to the man (not boy) who I love and who loves me in return, to the friends I have brought so much joy and meaning to my life along the years, and to the new addition of my super cute pet who never fails to brighten my mornings.

This year, there will be no grand celebration, or a list of dreams to wish on for the next year. This year will be a year for me to say "Thank You", "Salamat", "XieXie" to all of you who have made me who I am, who have travelled with me at some point in my journey. And if there is only one thing I will have to wish for, it is for all of you, and all of us, to continue living our lives each day as if it were our last. With all the love and abundant grace from God ever present in us.

Happy Birthday indeed.

The Beauty of Parenting

Parenting is not an easy feat. I know because as the eldest of 5 kids, I was often tasked with parental duties from the time I was 11 or 12, owing to the fact that I had 4 younger siblings who seemed to have come out of nowhere. At age 13, I already was doing groceries and errands for my family and was already capable of taking care of my siblings. Yes, I had to grow up pretty fast compared to my friends at school- for some reason, I could not do things as freely because of responsibilities I had to do and also because I had (and still have) quite strict parents. However, I am not one to complain. There are after all, lifetime benefits to growing that way. I can survive without a yaya and maids and I know I will still be able to balance my life at home and work pretty well. I will not have a hard time surviving in an alien place because my survival instincts are pretty above average where that is concerned.

Nonetheless, the parenting I am referring to is not what I’ve enumerated but rather that of a deeper kind. Not in the tasks parents must do but rather in the actual relationship between a parent and a child.

People often say that after marriage, having a child is the end of a particular way of life and the beginning of another. Suddenly, there is a new mouth to feed (literally at first), and the scary thought of raising a child from scratch seems daunting. Parents are particularly filled with a fear of something going wrong, and as such they start to become controlling and “overparental” and it becomes totally overwhelming once the child grows to have his or her own mind and once he or she stresses on having his or her own life.

Of course it can also work the other way- where parents let their children grow freely, with little guidance, make their own mistakes but who will always provide a home to come back to- like the story of the Prodigal Son.

In both cases, can we honestly say that one parent is more “loving” than the other? How difficult to digest that “to love” is almost the same as “to fear for” that person. You fear losing a person so much or for a person you love to go astray… But ironically, the fear brings out a side to parents which children themselves grow to fear and eventually resent.

I suppose parenting is indeed a tough act to follow, but there is beauty in all this. For remember that we are speaking of bringing more people into the world, celebrating the beauty of God’s Creation over and over again, and thus begins the process of guiding them (the children) back to where they came from.