Back Then
I wrote the essay below as part of my business plan in AIM, wow... that long ago...
In my almost one and a half years at the Asian Institute of Management, I know I can truly say, without a doubt, that both me and my enterprise have come a really long way from when we first began. I was a neophyte, both in terms of being an entrepreneur, running my own program, and in trying to be a social entrepreneur.
Now that I look back on that fateful day at Prof. Ferreria’s office, after enduring 2 and a half hours of an interview that took others a mere 20-30 minutes, with both my parents and my would-be mentor, Prof. Lisa Dacanay, it seems that ages had passed since I made that commitment that would change my life forever.
While in college, I had never planned on being a social entrepreneur, and in no way wanted to join the family business. I took up Humanities at the Ateneo and was all set to be either a pre-school owner or a lawyer. Either way, I knew I wanted to serve either kids or oppressed women in society. Nonetheless, I needed a break first. I deferred my enrollment at the Ateneo Law School for another year, heeded the advice of my parents and left for Beijing, China to spend 5 months on my own, to learn how to be independent while learning Chinese at the same time.
China was more than an eye-opener, it was a soul-opener. Many people probably do not understand why my experience there evoked such deep changes in me. I blossomed, grew up and matured. I knew I wanted more than pre-school and law (although they were both perfectly good options), but I was waiting for that “calling”. While in wait, I deeply conversed with God, my parents and other people close to my heart. I came home after 5 months, and decided to try working for the family business while “in wait”. A month after my return, my parents suggested I enroll at the AIM for their Masters Degree in Entrepreneurship. I was quick to accept their offer and immediately set out to prepare for my interview.
I remember going to the interview not knowing what business I was going to enroll, or what exactly I needed to fulfill to complete the course. Both my parents were with me, supposedly to offer moral support and assure Prof. Ferreria that they were relinquishing whatever necessary control it was needed to fulfill my obligations for the course. When the subject of MicroFinancing came up as an option, my heart started beating furiously. It was my father’s dream, one that I researched and read about prior to the interview, but one I was fearful to start up. I knew there were risks with working with the poor especially if the system was all wrong. However, I agreed with everything it stood for, and empathized with the plight of the entrepreneurial poor.
Before I knew it, Prof. Ferreria called in Prof. Lisa Dacanay and we then discussed my going into the MESODEV (Masters Degree in Entrepreneurship for Social and Development Entrepreneurs) Program as an option. Suddenly, the idea of staying within ME alone was not as appealing anymore. So when Prof. Ferreria and Dacanay asked me which it was going to be, I bravely chose what I have come to fondly know as the “road less traveled”, where I would be able to release my idealism in making a difference in helping the poor while making a profit.
Little did I know how naïve I was.
On July 8, 2003, MCC MicroFinance was formally launched. The systems were in place and the staff hired. It was, also my first day at AIM. All at once, I felt like an outcast in my class. Here I was, one of the youngest in the batch, and the youngest in the MESODEV class, rubbing elbows with pastors, NGO and Cooperative members who seemed to have a genetically implanted “social-development” cells in their bloodstream!
The first semester made me feel like I was groping in the dark, searching for answers to my seemingly never-ending questions. I knew I had an option to move to ME, but that would mean cowardice on my part, and I knew I had to go on. After one particularly fruitful guruing session, I felt inspired, excited and motivated. So I worked with a passion I never knew I had, and as I discovered new ways to develop the program further, I felt my myopic view of the world widen. I stopped looking at myself as a mere operations manager but rather as a woman with a vision and a cause to fight for and a “Promised Land” that awaited me at the end of my vision. All of a sudden, my relationship with my classmates improved as I began to see the value of sharing my dreams with them, my zeal in working toward my mission was working its way toward the hearts of my staff and the homes of my beneficiaries- and as a big bonus- Prof. Dacanay saw that positive change and went as far as to give me a Commendation for it!
It is only that I write this that I realize what prompted me to change and grow dramatically. My growth was not something that came at a snap of a finger. Growth came with awareness of who I was and what I COULD do and HAD to do out there; Growth was humility in realizing that I was not the only one who had a dream for the poor- that I was one of many people in and outside my class who had such dreams as well and were much more capable than I was in getting there; Growth was when I had to deal with my first past-due account, the first anomaly in the daily collections, the first “sit-down” experienced by my staff and when I had to terminate one of our team leaders for inefficiency; Most importantly, growth came in the form of my realizing that I was not going through this simply to get the grade, to please my parents or for additional lines in my resume, I knew I grew when it finally dawned on me that I was in this for my beneficiaries. It was only after I fully understood and experienced all those that I achieved mastery of myself, of the situation I am in, and mastery of my enterprise.
I am a late bloomer in the social development world. I know I made several errors and miscalculations along the way, and know that I will continue to do so as I go on, but I can quite confidently say that everything will fall into place. How could it not? I have been blessed to have had this “calling”, to have supportive parents, staff and not to mention, an AIM education all under my belt. Moreover, I know I will never run out of people who will join me in my journey, either as partners, beneficiaries or friends, and I wholeheartedly am thankful to have found some of those within and through my experiences at AIM.
Right now, I cannot help but look back at our first day in AIM, when we were all made to choose a symbol that best describes us. I remember clearly that I chose a grape to embody me. It is in the nature of a grape to eventually be transformed into wine. I find it quite amusing that even then, I was able to innocently position myself as an “input/grape” and “output/wine”. AIM was part of that transforming unit that prunes me, and makes “wine” out of me, and though I am far from being that quality wine which connoisseurs pay a premium for, I know that someday, I will be.
Until then, the pruning and the ageing goes on.
In my almost one and a half years at the Asian Institute of Management, I know I can truly say, without a doubt, that both me and my enterprise have come a really long way from when we first began. I was a neophyte, both in terms of being an entrepreneur, running my own program, and in trying to be a social entrepreneur.
Now that I look back on that fateful day at Prof. Ferreria’s office, after enduring 2 and a half hours of an interview that took others a mere 20-30 minutes, with both my parents and my would-be mentor, Prof. Lisa Dacanay, it seems that ages had passed since I made that commitment that would change my life forever.
While in college, I had never planned on being a social entrepreneur, and in no way wanted to join the family business. I took up Humanities at the Ateneo and was all set to be either a pre-school owner or a lawyer. Either way, I knew I wanted to serve either kids or oppressed women in society. Nonetheless, I needed a break first. I deferred my enrollment at the Ateneo Law School for another year, heeded the advice of my parents and left for Beijing, China to spend 5 months on my own, to learn how to be independent while learning Chinese at the same time.
China was more than an eye-opener, it was a soul-opener. Many people probably do not understand why my experience there evoked such deep changes in me. I blossomed, grew up and matured. I knew I wanted more than pre-school and law (although they were both perfectly good options), but I was waiting for that “calling”. While in wait, I deeply conversed with God, my parents and other people close to my heart. I came home after 5 months, and decided to try working for the family business while “in wait”. A month after my return, my parents suggested I enroll at the AIM for their Masters Degree in Entrepreneurship. I was quick to accept their offer and immediately set out to prepare for my interview.
I remember going to the interview not knowing what business I was going to enroll, or what exactly I needed to fulfill to complete the course. Both my parents were with me, supposedly to offer moral support and assure Prof. Ferreria that they were relinquishing whatever necessary control it was needed to fulfill my obligations for the course. When the subject of MicroFinancing came up as an option, my heart started beating furiously. It was my father’s dream, one that I researched and read about prior to the interview, but one I was fearful to start up. I knew there were risks with working with the poor especially if the system was all wrong. However, I agreed with everything it stood for, and empathized with the plight of the entrepreneurial poor.
Before I knew it, Prof. Ferreria called in Prof. Lisa Dacanay and we then discussed my going into the MESODEV (Masters Degree in Entrepreneurship for Social and Development Entrepreneurs) Program as an option. Suddenly, the idea of staying within ME alone was not as appealing anymore. So when Prof. Ferreria and Dacanay asked me which it was going to be, I bravely chose what I have come to fondly know as the “road less traveled”, where I would be able to release my idealism in making a difference in helping the poor while making a profit.
Little did I know how naïve I was.
On July 8, 2003, MCC MicroFinance was formally launched. The systems were in place and the staff hired. It was, also my first day at AIM. All at once, I felt like an outcast in my class. Here I was, one of the youngest in the batch, and the youngest in the MESODEV class, rubbing elbows with pastors, NGO and Cooperative members who seemed to have a genetically implanted “social-development” cells in their bloodstream!
The first semester made me feel like I was groping in the dark, searching for answers to my seemingly never-ending questions. I knew I had an option to move to ME, but that would mean cowardice on my part, and I knew I had to go on. After one particularly fruitful guruing session, I felt inspired, excited and motivated. So I worked with a passion I never knew I had, and as I discovered new ways to develop the program further, I felt my myopic view of the world widen. I stopped looking at myself as a mere operations manager but rather as a woman with a vision and a cause to fight for and a “Promised Land” that awaited me at the end of my vision. All of a sudden, my relationship with my classmates improved as I began to see the value of sharing my dreams with them, my zeal in working toward my mission was working its way toward the hearts of my staff and the homes of my beneficiaries- and as a big bonus- Prof. Dacanay saw that positive change and went as far as to give me a Commendation for it!
It is only that I write this that I realize what prompted me to change and grow dramatically. My growth was not something that came at a snap of a finger. Growth came with awareness of who I was and what I COULD do and HAD to do out there; Growth was humility in realizing that I was not the only one who had a dream for the poor- that I was one of many people in and outside my class who had such dreams as well and were much more capable than I was in getting there; Growth was when I had to deal with my first past-due account, the first anomaly in the daily collections, the first “sit-down” experienced by my staff and when I had to terminate one of our team leaders for inefficiency; Most importantly, growth came in the form of my realizing that I was not going through this simply to get the grade, to please my parents or for additional lines in my resume, I knew I grew when it finally dawned on me that I was in this for my beneficiaries. It was only after I fully understood and experienced all those that I achieved mastery of myself, of the situation I am in, and mastery of my enterprise.
I am a late bloomer in the social development world. I know I made several errors and miscalculations along the way, and know that I will continue to do so as I go on, but I can quite confidently say that everything will fall into place. How could it not? I have been blessed to have had this “calling”, to have supportive parents, staff and not to mention, an AIM education all under my belt. Moreover, I know I will never run out of people who will join me in my journey, either as partners, beneficiaries or friends, and I wholeheartedly am thankful to have found some of those within and through my experiences at AIM.
Right now, I cannot help but look back at our first day in AIM, when we were all made to choose a symbol that best describes us. I remember clearly that I chose a grape to embody me. It is in the nature of a grape to eventually be transformed into wine. I find it quite amusing that even then, I was able to innocently position myself as an “input/grape” and “output/wine”. AIM was part of that transforming unit that prunes me, and makes “wine” out of me, and though I am far from being that quality wine which connoisseurs pay a premium for, I know that someday, I will be.
Until then, the pruning and the ageing goes on.
posted by kath | 11:17 AM
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